People need relationships with other people.
Accordingly, we are wired in our brain. But do we, as people need romantic love?
Helen Fischer, an anthropologist at the Kinsey Institute, states, “I came to realize that romantic love is a basic human drive,“
Her colleague Lucy Brown goes further and describes romantic love as a… “survival mechanism as crucial as the craving for water.”
When people love or are in love, they want to please.
This is first of all perfectly normal. We adapt to the social norms of our group and perhaps we want to be perceived as a tolerant, generous and successful person, as a beautiful person worth being loved by a partner.
Some people believe they don’t deserve love believing they are not worth another person’s time, care, and compassion. They think it’s not enough to be the way they are. They lack, for whatever reason, genuine self-confidence.
Out of the belief that they are not “good enough,” they can quickly create toxic-romantic, but also toxic-friendly, relationships through accepting special behavior from their partner. Relationships that do not allow the partners to grow, but are truly toxic to the mind and body, can make one sick in the long run.
I have listed 7 pitfalls of toxic relationships below.
If you experience the following more than you experience pleasant interactions in your relationship, this does not allow for individual growth or growth in the partnership thereby causing more grief than good.
As often happens in life, it depends on the amount. Perhaps some of the behaviors described below occur infrequently and can be changed with insight. For other behaviors, such as physical violence, immediate action is required.
Only you can assume responsibility for your personal behavior and only you can change your behavior.
If your partner has self-worth problems, lacks empathy, or thinks in psychopathic ways, only he or she can work on those issues. Please visit my article about psychopaths in this blog to learn more about this topic.
Men are rarely perceived as victims of women yet men do suffer from toxic relationships as well. And unlike many women, men often have no circle of friends with whom they can discuss these experiences and are quickly overwhelmed with the experience of violent emotions. Continue reading “Seven pitfalls of toxic relationships”